Dogecoin Holders Demand Elon Musk Accept Payment in Belly Rubs

In an unprecedented move that has left both the cryptocurrency and canine communities barking with excitement, a coalition of Dogecoin holders has formally petitioned Tesla CEO Elon Musk to accept belly rubs as an alternative payment method for his companies' products and services.

The petition, which has garnered over 420,000 signatures (a number the organizers insist is "totally coincidental"), argues that belly rubs represent the true spirit of Dogecoin better than traditional fiat currency.

"Dogecoin was always about fun, community, and doing good," explained petition organizer Jennifer Pawson, while simultaneously scratching behind her Golden Retriever's ears. "What's more fun and community-oriented than belly rubs? It's the purest form of value exchange."

The Proposal Details

According to the petition, the proposed exchange rate would be:

• 1 Tesla Model 3 = 50,000 belly rubs
• 1 Starlink subscription = 100 belly rubs per month
• 1 Boring Company flamethrower = 5,000 belly rubs
• 1 SpaceX rocket ride = 1 million belly rubs (premium belly rubs only)

The petition also includes detailed specifications for belly rub quality, including duration (minimum 30 seconds), technique (circular motions preferred), and enthusiasm level (must include verbal affirmations like "good boy" or "who's a good blockchain?").

Community Response

The Dogecoin community has rallied behind the initiative with characteristic enthusiasm. Reddit user u/SuchWowMuchRub commented, "Finally, a payment method that makes sense. I've been training my portfolio management skills by giving belly rubs to my dog. Very bullish on this development."

Local Shiba Inu Kabosu Jr. (no relation to the original Doge) provided comment through his human translator: "Woof woof, much payment, very accept, wow." When pressed for further details, Kabosu Jr. simply rolled over and presented his belly, which experts interpreted as a strong endorsement of the proposal.

Technical Challenges

Cryptocurrency experts have raised concerns about the practical implementation of belly rub payments. "How do you verify the authenticity of a belly rub?" asked blockchain analyst Dr. Sarah Pawprint. "What prevents double-spending of belly rubs? These are serious technical challenges that need to be addressed."

The petition organizers have proposed a solution involving smartphone apps that would track belly rub duration, pressure, and recipient satisfaction levels using advanced haptic feedback technology.

Musk's Response

As of press time, Elon Musk has not officially responded to the petition, though he did tweet a single dog emoji followed by a rocket emoji, which the Dogecoin community has interpreted as either strong support or complete confusion.

Tesla's customer service department has reportedly been overwhelmed with calls from customers asking about belly rub payment options, with one representative stating, "I've been working here for five years, and this is definitely the weirdest Tuesday we've had."

The petition remains active and continues to gain signatures, with organizers planning a "Belly Rub for Bitcoin" demonstration outside Tesla's headquarters next week.