Grandmother Accidentally Becomes Crypto Whale After Trying to Send Email

Local grandmother Ethel Buttonsworth, 73, has accidentally become one of the largest cryptocurrency holders in her state after a series of technological mishaps that began with her attempting to email cat photos to her bridge club.

The confusion started last Tuesday when Buttonsworth's grandson, Tyler, tried to help her set up a "digital wallet" on her iPad, which she assumed was for storing digital photos. Three hours and several misunderstood instructions later, Buttonsworth had somehow acquired 847 Bitcoin, 12,000 Ethereum, and a collection of NFTs that she believes are "broken JPEGs."

"I kept clicking the buttons Tyler told me to click, but instead of my cat pictures, I kept getting these confusing numbers," Buttonsworth explained while showing a reporter her iPad, which displayed a portfolio worth approximately $67 million. "I thought it was some kind of calculator app."

The Accidental Investment Strategy

According to Tyler, the mishap occurred when he tried to explain cryptocurrency to his grandmother using what he thought were simple analogies. "I told her it was like digital money that you keep in a digital wallet," Tyler said, visibly stressed. "She nodded along, but I think she thought I was talking about a photo album."

The situation escalated when Buttonsworth, frustrated by what she perceived as a malfunctioning email system, began randomly tapping buttons on various cryptocurrency exchanges that Tyler had bookmarked for his own trading.

"Every time I tried to send a picture of Mr. Whiskers to the bridge club, more numbers would appear," she recalled. "I figured if I kept trying, eventually the cat pictures would go through."

Unintentional Genius

Cryptocurrency analysts are baffled by Buttonsworth's accidental investment choices, which demonstrate what experts are calling "beginner's luck on an unprecedented scale." Her random purchases occurred during optimal market conditions, and her apparent strategy of "buying the dip" was actually just her repeatedly trying to fix what she thought was a broken app.

"Mrs. Buttonsworth's portfolio shows a level of market timing that would make professional traders weep with envy," said crypto analyst Jennifer Blockchain. "She somehow bought Bitcoin at $43,000, Ethereum at $2,100, and acquired several blue-chip NFTs at floor prices. It's either pure luck or she's a secret genius."

When informed of her investment success, Buttonsworth remained focused on her original goal: "That's nice, dear, but can you help me send these cat pictures? The bridge club is waiting."

Family Intervention

Tyler has since taken control of his grandmother's accounts and is attempting to explain the situation to other family members, who initially thought he was trying to scam their elderly relative.

"My mom called me screaming about how I was trying to steal grandma's money with 'computer coins,'" Tyler explained. "It took three family meetings and a PowerPoint presentation to convince everyone that grandma had accidentally become a crypto millionaire."

The family has decided to let Buttonsworth keep her cryptocurrency holdings, partly because she doesn't understand what they are and partly because her accidental investment strategy has outperformed their traditional retirement accounts.

Bridge Club Fame

Word of Buttonsworth's crypto success has spread through her bridge club, where she's now considered something of a financial guru despite still not understanding what cryptocurrency is.

"Ethel keeps talking about her 'digital money pictures,'" said bridge club member Dorothy Cardsworth. "We don't understand it either, but if it's making her rich, we want to learn. Can you accidentally become a millionaire with other apps?"

Buttonsworth has been invited to speak at several cryptocurrency conferences, though she's declined all invitations because they conflict with her bridge schedule.

Current Status

Despite her newfound wealth, Buttonsworth remains focused on her original mission. Tyler has since helped her successfully email cat pictures to her bridge club using a traditional email app, though she still occasionally opens her crypto wallet by mistake.

"Sometimes I see those numbers and think maybe I should understand what they mean," she mused. "But then Mr. Whiskers does something cute and I forget all about it."

At press time, Buttonsworth was reportedly asking Tyler to help her "delete the broken calculator app" so she could have more room for cat photos, unaware that the "broken calculator" was worth more than most people's houses.